< That Twat Of A Child
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roryink:

nerdiegirlie:

when they were prepping me for the surgery the nurse put one of those cloth hats over my head to keep the hair out of my face

she said “here’s your party hat”

and i was already trippin balls so I said 

"yaAAY paaaarty"

and wiggled around on the table like a gleeful slug

i think about this post sometimes and it makes me grin like a dope

lexicution3r:

lexicution3r:

my mom is scREAMING downstairs right now about how there’s no chocolate.

“How can we NOT HAVE CHOCOLATE IN THIS HOUSE?”

“How is there NO CHOCOLATE???”

“DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE A WHALE HANGING FROM THE CEILING BUT THERE’S NO CHOCOLATE?”

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The Infamous Middle Finger